fertility and worst habits

worst habits: generating ideas

random word: fertility

this is how it begins. I had this idea of practicing discipline by going through this prompt book. Writing every day for a year. well its June, and I have less than 20 posts when I should have over 100. and you know, that's okay.

my problem and my worst habit is when I plan things and projects, get all the ducks in a row, and then I freak out and run away. going to school was the only thing where I didnt stick it out and I completed it to term.

it is funny that my word I flipped to was fertility. I want to have a huge family, but I lack personal discipline. lets face it, I do my laundry ever few months.

I think I am going to be one of those mothers who has everything on the outside together. I don't know. I have so much clutter and stuff and partial projects. I constantly ask myself is this how I am going to raise a family?

I told this dude that I am constantly in a state of hanging in there. you know reaching down to the unknown, arranging the ducks and then pulling myself up. I hate this about myself, and I do not know how to change it.